Dear Diary
by jojo22outtheregirl
Summary: Love is hard to find, but what if yoi found it in a diary? Roxas finds the diary of a young boy named Lea. Through the diary are tales of love, pain, hate and abuse. Once the firey new kid , Axel , joins , Roxas' life changes. When someone changes your life, it's hard to get it back. Akuroku
1. 3 books

**Hello and welcome to my fanfic!**

**This is a AkuRoku! Soz at the beginning, Roxas fancys Olette so... Yeah! Read on!**

My brother Sora dragged me along to the library, so he could drop of his friend's book. Whilst he was at the desk, I thought... Let's browse for books! Like every other person in the library! Well done Roxas.

So I looked in the anime section as the table next to that section was... Olette. She was sitting at the table with Hayner and Pence. It looked as if she was trying to get them to do their homework. I walked past causally then... WHAM! I tripped over my lace. I'm a idiot. It's official! I heard Hayner laughing like a idiot. Olette must of saw that. But whilst I was down there I saw 3 dusty book piled under the bookshelf. One blue one, Stress Relief. One green one, Getting over fear and under then a brown tatty one. I pulled them all out. Dusted them off and stared at them. Hayner was being lectured on how this was a library and he shouldn't be talking by librarian, Zexion.

" Excuse me. Zexion, where do these books live? " I asked him. He snatched the books off me. Examining them carefully he said they didn't belong to the library. So I took them off him and slipped them in my ruck-sack. Sora came over, " Returned Kairi's books. Mates, Dates and inflatable bras... Embarrassing to hand over!" Sora grinned.

" Yeah. Ok! Let's go! " I said quickly.

" What's the rush? " he asked slightly tilting his head to the left. I stuttered. Then he saw Olette, and nodded.

When I got home Mum wasn't back. Sora just slumped into the couch and began watching Sailor Moon. Werido. Perfect for me to ran up to my room and check out those books.

I jumped onto my bed and opened the blue stress relief book,

" The reliable guide to Stress Relief By: Dr. V. Even. " under that written in neat rounded writing,

" Lea Bond aka Bond of The Flame " Does this book belong to Lea Bond? Who's that? So I opened up the green getting over fear book,

" Ways to get over fear By: Dr. V . Even " What's with this guy and Dr.V? Once again underneath,

" Lea Bond aka Bond of The Flame "

So I opened the brown tatty book,

" Lea Bond's Journal " it wasn't in Lea's writing, it was much smaller and thin. It was written in a blotchy biro.

" It's a journal... Should I read it? " I paused for a moment, " Why not? " I hesitantly turned the page and began to read.

" August 13th 2012

Idiots. The lot of them. Have a journal. Have a journal. Blahblahblahblah blah! Supposed to let your feelings slid. Vexen is a twat. Let's face it! He gave me some dumb stress relief book. "

You could see how he pushed his pen down hard that he wasn't too happy.

" Not gonna waste my life on stupid things. Once I leave, I won't come back. You can't plan life... "

His writing started to trail off. Wow. He wrote something deep. I wanna keep reading... But I feel like I shouldn't. Oh well! So I carried on reading.

" August 31st 2012

Why does everyone leave me? Is it because... I'm different? Do they hurt me because I've done something wrong? Does he hurt me because I ruined his life? He says I ruined his life. I never should of been alive. "

The ink was slightly smuged and the paper had water stains. He must of been crying.

" If I was like everyone else... Why... Never mind "

I felt a pain in my heart. People hurt him? Who was he? The he that hurt Lea?

I heard Sora thumping up the stairs. I put the Dr. V books away on my desk and briskly slid the journal under my pillow. He banged on the door.

" What? " I answered.

" Can I come in, Roxy? " he shouted.

" No, "

" Why? "

" I'm busy... "

" Busy thinking about Olette! " I heard him laugh so I grabbed the green Dr. V book and threw it at the door. I heard the laughing stop.

" That'll shut him up... " I mumbled. Why did I enjoy his personal life so bad? Because I'm a nosey barstard that's why.

I grabbed Lea's journal once again and flipped to the right page. There was a beautiful drawing of a blonde girl staring out the window. She had a white dress on and blue sandals, she had a nice figure. Everyy strand of her hair had detail. Her eyes looked glistened. On the other page there was a massive quote. " Our Lives have no meaning. Only through the eyes of others " Everything in here makes me upset. His life was depressing. I'm only on the 4th page! I shut his journal and laid down on my bed, holding the journal on my chest. I began to doze off.

I woke up to Mum calling me to dinner. I ran down the stairs and plopped myself down on the dining room chair. Mum put the tomato soup down and I drank it quickly. I ran straight back to my room.

**That's chapter 1! Hope you all enjoyed it x**

**Please review!**

**Lots of Love and Glitter **

**JoJo xxx**


	2. More Pain

**Here I am again! I don't usually write in a row .lol. Thanks for all your support! Here we go...**

**Read on!**

I got dressed into my pyjamas and sat on my bed to get Lea's journal. I pulled it out and geuss what happened? Sora swung the door open and ran in shouting, " Jammy party! " he flopped onto my bed with a laugh. Ugh! He's s soooo annoying! I know he has ADHD ( Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ) but it becomes frustrating. It was cool when I was 9, but not really anymore. He doesn't focus, he acts younger than he is and says comments that shouldn't be shared. Everyone loves him, he's just destructive in class. All his mates adore him! I can't stand him. Joker of the class/school/football club/family. He saw Lea's journal.

" What's that? " he asked wide eyed. Shoot!

I held it tightly in my hand, " Nothing. Just a book... "

" Lemme read! "

" No. It's a private book..."

" Really? What's it about? " Grrrr! He always wants to know my business!

" I rather not say..." just gonna cover it up.

" Is it about you know what..."

" What are we talking about Voldemort? I don't know what... "

" Erm... S... E..."

" GET OUT! " Oh my god. He... Oh my god.

I opened Lea's journal again,

" September 12th 2012

Bunking. It's what I do. Why go to school when every time you go you get detentions for not doing homework or being lectured I need more sleep. They can stick it. Yeah like I have time to sleep. I gotta work! Money. I need to get out of this debt. IT WEREN'T EVEN ME! THE WORLD HATES ME! School, Work , Hurt, School , Work , Hurt. My life. Happy frickin days... Seriously my only mate is Demxy the happy fag. Love him to bits. Don't like his boyfriend though.

December 1st 2012

Demyx is so hyper! He's excited about Christmas. He says his dad is gonna get him a new sitar. Demyx is the only one who gets me a Christmas present. Last year he got me a black coat. I thought it was nice of him. I don't get any new clothes unless I buy them but with my money I have to buy food so... Let's hope Dad doesn't kill this Christmas like the last. "

Poor Lea. I can feel myself breaking to tears. Under that entry was another drawing of a snow frosted tree with a blue haired boy sitting undedneath smoking. I wanna know who these people are! I wanna meet Lea, that blonde girl, Demyx and this blue guy.

I crawled into bed, journal in arms, and drifted off to sleep.

Monday Morning...

I got a text from Olette saying about there's a new kid at school. He's Reno's cousin. If he's anything like Reno, the world will be grammatically dead.

**Tah Dah! I love this story! I'm prob gonna write this constantly! **

**Review pleaaaase! Lol**

**Lots of Love and smiley Pikachus!**


	3. New Kid

**Hello! Tis me! Lol**

**Here's chapter 3! Xxx**

The sharp sound of my alarm clock welcomed me rudely to reality. I slammed it, pretending it was Seifer's head. I rolled out of bed and heard the patting of rain on my window. It was a morbid Monday. What made it worse was Reno's cousin joined school. I grabbed my shirt and my blue checked tie, then threw it on. I picked up my blue checked trousers for my desk and slipped them on. I hate our school uniform! Why? Why make this uniform?

I stamped down the stairs and Mum was on the phone to Dad. Mum and Dad got divorced when I was born. Dad had a driking problem and Mum had anger issues... Bad mix. She was screaming down the phone words I can't repeat... I grabbed my bag from by the door and stormed off.

I cried walking up the hill to school, I didn't care who saw me. You try spending everyday of your life being reminded of your parents break up! As I got closer to school I saw Reno, Seifer and some other guy. He had bright red hair and pale skin. I couldn't really see him as he was across the road. I began to walk faster, imagine what Seifer would say if he saw me cry. He'd go tell everyone, including Olette.

I got into school and Pence was waiting for me. We walked together to Maths.

" Hey, I saw you in the libary on Sunday. YOU FELL OVER! " he laughed. I just shoved him, as a joke obviously.

" Olette just worried if you were ok. She liiiiiiiiiikes you! " Pence teased.

" Pence! End of conversation... " I rolled my eyes

I sat down at my desk and Mr. Highwing gave me a strange look. I didn't understand what was going on. I sat down and had to get straight back up, Mr. Highwing called me up to speak to him.

" Look after the new kid. K? " he said not even looking at me, he was too busy typing.

" Er... Ok... " I just itched the back of my head.

Reno strode in and snarled at me along with Seifer. Behind them was that guy that was with them before. I could see him better as his was in front of me. His hair was a vivid red and his skin was pale. He had piercing jade eyes.

" This is Axel. He's new. So... Yeah. Page 312 of your text books, "

I went back to my desk and Axel sat down next me. The whole lesson he sat in silence writing. Is he really related to Reno?!

Then we had Science with Mr. N. Axel still said nothing...

When it came break, Axel walked off with Reno and Seifer. Why was he so quiet? I went to sit with Pence and Hayner. Hayner just disappeared into his comic ,and Pence into a map covered in post-it-notes. Pence wrote down every rumor he heard, and marked the map with a post-it-note of that rumor. I was busy thinking of Lea. I want to meet him. But would I say? Thoughts like that streaming through my head.

The bell rung and we had english with . Axel was still quiet.

Then we had P.E with Mrs. S. Axel didn't have a P.E kit so he watched... In silence.

When we had Lunch I went to talk to him. Before I was able to get to the table where he was at... Reno came.

" Watcha want? Me and Ax are busy, yeah. So piss off. K? We cool? " Reno spat his gum onto the floor right next to my shoe. I just walked away. Deadpan.

Then we had art. Axel was amazing! His drawings were covered in detail. It was amazing to see him draw.

I went home and Mum kept trying to apologise for the incident that morning. Forget it.

I read Lea's journal again:

" December 24th 2012

He did it. Dad ruined Christmas. No shock there...

Why did he do that? He had to he said... Xigbar didn't deserve to die. Demyx will never forgive me. My Dad had to kill him... "

The writing was shakey and the ink as smuged. My geuss is tears. His dad killed someone?

There was a big drawing of the guy that was under the tree. He had yellowish eyes and long blue hair. His face and a massive 'X' scared in the gap between his eyes.

" 30th January 2013

Dad blammed Mum. Now she's in prison...

Demyx won't talk to me. He hates me for Dad killing his boyfriend, Xigbar.

I'll never make it up to him... "

**I hope you liked it! Please review! **

**Love you all! JoJo xxx**


	4. Getting to know you

**Hey, sorry about how short my chapters are! I'm writing on my phone so... Lol! Maybe there will be some dialogue between Axel and Roxas now! Lol**

**Read on!**

Once again, I found myself in a prison they call school. Pence and Hayner were fighting for Olette, which kinda sucked for me. I wanted Olette too, but so does my best mates! I don't know who I'm rooting for either. Sitting laughing at Pence finding dumb reasons why he's better, Axel approached me. He just sat down next to me, not a hello or anything. I carried on laughing at Pence. Hayner just kept pulling faces at him. I heard Axel laugh gently. I didn't notice how thin he was until then.

" Axel, did you want... Something? " I asked curiously.

" No. Sorry about Reno yesterday, he's very-" I interrupted Axel half way through.

" Rude. Self-centred. Arrogant. Annoying... " I stared coldly into his eyes.

" I was going to say protective, but whatever... " Axel slowly got up and walked away. I know that was really rude, but I didn't care.

The day slipped by fast and Axel didn't breathe a word to me. It was true, what I saw of Reno was nasty. I decided to sit in the park and think. I slipped on my head phones with music blasting into my ears. My thoughts trailed from Axel to Olette to Dad and then to Lea. Why were they ( nearly ) always on my mind? Axel only just joined the list of people. I just leant against a tree, disconnected from the world.

Far off in the distance was Seifer and Axel. I knew it wasn't Reno as Reno was definitely shorter than Axel. I just watched them talk. They were so far away they were like a blur. Seifer must of saw me, as he picked up a pile of stones and began to walk closer. Seifer started to throw them at me. Each one hit my face, it wasn't gentle either. I felt tears rise in my blue eyes. Seifer wouldn't stop. I heard Axel shouting at him. Seifer still didn't stop, I felt the bruising appearing on my face. He just got closer , and closer until Axel shoved him to the floor. Seifer snarled at him. When Seifer was flat on the floor, Axel kept kicking him in the side with aggression. I scrambled up off the floor and slowly backed away.

" Roxas! Are you ok?! " Axel looked at me. How did he know my name?

" Y-yeah... Bye..." I snatched my bag off the grass and sprinted home.

I got home at 4.45. Mum glared at me, I was really late, " Where were you? " she said in a nosey manner.

" Since when did you care what I did? " I snapped. Mum just bugs me. She decides to be a mum when she wants to be one.

I got no response, " Exactly! " I ran up to my room. I couldn't help but cry. I hated crying, even though I did it often.

Strangely enough, I found Lea's journal comforting.

" Febuary 2nd 2013 "

That was a big gap from Christmas Eve.

" I'm on the run. Demyx won't talk to me. Obviously. The police are looking for me. Son of the psychopathic killer/ abusive drunk.

Happy Birthday Lea! Happy 15th birthday! "

It was his birthday? He was on the run on his birthday? There was a beautiful drawing underneath. It was a big palm tree looking out to a sparkling sea with the moon shaped as a heart.

" 4th June 2013 "

Another massive gap. It was worring to see a big gap.

" Vexen found me. He found me and now says he will be taking me back to his own house. I'm not living with this scum bag! Apparently my dad is waiting for me. I'm not going back. He can't make me! "

Poor Lea. I just wanna hug him tight! I went to sleep with no breakfast, lunch or dinner. My stomach rumbled like there was a volcano inside.

When I woke up, I threw on my uniform and went down stairs. Mum wasn't up yet. Sora was in the kitchen making toast.

" Roxas! I'm making you some toast! You didn't eat yesterday, so, I made you peanut butter toast! " he had a giant grin painted on his face. I wrapped my arms around my little brother.

" I thought you hated me! " Sora gently moved me off him.

" Sora, I've never hated you, " I never knew that was how Sora viewed me.

" Oh... You made it look that way..." He looked at the floor.

" Well, I don't! " I smiled at him. I grabbed the toast he made me and began to walk out the door.

Walking down the road opposite me was Axel and Reno.

" Yo! Roxas! Come over here! " Reno shouted to me. I froze. I turned around and saw the two redheads waving at me.

I crossed the road to talk to them, " What? " I asked looking at Reno's scars under the edges of his eyes.

" Are you alright? After Seifer? " Axel's face was full of concern.

" Yeah, thanks for that. Sorry I forgot to thank you, " I said looking at my red trainers.

" Axel, have you seen Rude anywhere? Since the glasses incident I haven't seen him..." Reno moved a piece of hair off his face.

" Erm. No... " Axel itched his head. Who was Rude?

" Reno, why do you always wear those glasses? " I never understood why.

" Just don't question the glasses! " Reno smiled. I take back what I said about Reno. I geuss I just needed to talk to him.

When we got into school I saw Sora and Kairi together. Kairi was obviously flirting with him. Sora didn't seem to pick that up. Dumb ass.

During break I sat with Axel and Reno. When I looked over to Hayner, Pence and Olette, they gave me glares. I awkwardly looked back at Axel and Reno, they were laughing at the scenario.

" We need to find Rude, " Reno tapped at the table.

" It's been a week. I honestly think that's not right! " Axel rummaged through his bag.

" Ax, whatcha lookin for? " Reno straightened the glasses on his forehead.

" Nothing... " Axel looked scared.

" Hang on a sec Roxas..." Reno got up and Axel followed. They began to talk on the other side of the school yard. Hayner walked up to me whilst I was by myself.

" Don't forget. We said we were going to the beach Saturday! " Hayner hit my back playfully.

" I won't! " I smiled. I thought he was going to bite my head off! Then the bell rang. Hayner asked if i was coming but I said that I would wait for Axel and Reno. He rolled his eyes and walked away.

" Ok... I pissed him off... " I said in my head.

Axel and Reno came back, we walked to maths.

When it came lunch, Reno and I got some lunch but Axel didn't. He said he wasn't hungry.

Days went by and we kept doing the same thing. Axel didn't each lunch. Like everyday.

Saturday morning... I swear I was supposed to be doing something... But what?


	5. Rude Hunt

**Hi my Akuroku fans!**

**Sorry I have 3 reasons why I haven't been updating!**

**1) I deleted the chapter so I had to re-write it. **

**2) Writer's block.**

**3) My sister's birthday! **

**Here you go! SORRY!**

**Read On!**

My phone buzzed whilst I was eating my breakfast. Mum and Sora looked at me. I took my phone out of my jean pocket, " goin on a rude hunt. meet us park. reno. " how did Reno get my number?

" Who was that? " Mum asked me.

" Why does it matter?" I looked at her coldly. She didn't answer, she stood up and took all the dishes to the sink. Typical. Sora sighed then dragged himself to his room. I felt bad for making everything awkward, but at the same time Mum deserves it... I won't ever forgive her for what she did. No one should be like that towards their sons.

When I went upstairs to go to my room, I heard Sora crying softly. I knocked on his door and Sora let me in. He was huddled up in his heavy duvet, with his lion and fish teddies close to him. I gently placed myself on Sora's bed. He looked over at me, his eyes were red and his voice was wobbly,

" I miss Vanitas... " more tears slid down his rosey cheeks.

" I do too. He's in a better place now. He's up there with Cloud!" I smiled sadly.

" I want my big brothers back! " Sora slammed back down and pulled the duvet over his face.

" Cloud wasn't happy down here. Neither was Vanitas. Maybe the fire was good for them..." I put my hand on top of the duvet where his leg would be. Sora quickly kicked me off. I thought maybe he wanted to be alone. I decided to go.

I threw my coat on and ran to the park.

The park was old and rusty, it was overrun by plants and flowers. I scanned the park for Reno.

What did I see? Two bright red splurges of red on a canvas of green. Reno and Axel. They were sitting on the squeaking swings.

" AXEL! RENO! " as I shouted, they both looked at me and waved.

I half jogged to the pair.

" Hey Roxas! " Axel's smile glowed at me, making me glow too.

" Hi Axel, hi Reno!" Axel and Reno always made me feel like I had no worries.

" WE'RE GOING ON A RUDE HUNT!" Reno was ecstatic.

" What? " I was so blank, it was embarrassing. Axel gently laughed at me, I'm not sure how I felt. I had no clue what feeling was in the pits of my stomach... It was just...there.

" My best mate Rude. He's missing. I bet you he's in the park somewhere, " Reno pointed at me, " You two, search the streets. I'll search the park. Once ya done, we'll meet at the dump. 2pm alright? Don't leave me hanging! "

Axel and I nodded. Reno ran off into the distance, jumping over plants and stuff- he thought he was pretty cool.

Axel and I strolled down the streets, there was barely any conversation. I thought I better break the silence so I said the dreaded lines : " The weather's been nice, " Real clever Roxas. Such an interesting person is walking with you say " The weather's been nice," ?!

" Huh, can't find anything better to say? " Axel had a smirk swept across his face, his eyes just were locked ahead.

" You haven't said much either, " I mumbled. There was another silence. I know some say silence is golden but, damn it was awkward!

" Axel, where were you from before here? " I looked up at him. Axel paused. He turned around to face me, then placed his hands on my shoulders. He let a loud sigh, " Please. Roxas. Don't ask about the past, please? " his eyes were glazed, but he didn't seem to be too upset.

" O-Ok... Sorry... " I looked at my laces.

" Don't apologise mate! " he slapped my back. I nearly jumped out of my skin. When I looked up at him he had a grin on his face.

" C'mon, we're not going to find Rude. Let's just get some ice cream! RACE YOU! " Axel dashed.

" WHERE TO?! "

Axel and I got to the Clock Tower, we went through the station to some stairs. When we got to the top we were standing on the top of the clock tower.

" Wait here. I'll get the ice cream, " Axel left me up there.

I got comfortable, I sat on the ledge and looked out on Twilight Town.

It was pure buildings, not much of a sight to be honest.

Axel came back, " Got them! Sea salt! " Axel dropped next to me and gave me a flash of that smile. He passed me one. I hesitantly took a bite. Seasalt? I shivered at saltiness, but the sweetness!

" Thank you, " I looked back at Twilight Town, " Not much of a view"

" What are you on about?! " Axel was shocked, " Life isn't a good view, unless you make it one, " sweet words of wisdom slipped out his mouth, he took another bite off his ice cream. I looked hard atthe view, but I still saw nothing.

" Axel..." I stumbled, " Do you ever regret things? "

He looked at me, " Yeah... I wish I could start again. But life doesn't seem to work like that," he sat his ice cream stick down next to him.

" Wait a second..." I just remembered, Saturday. Hayner said on Saturday we were going to the beach!

" Sorry I have to go! " I ran as fast as my feet could carry me.

I'm such a dick.

**Sorry this chapter failed. I am having major issues at home so I'm a bit distracted, sorry!**

**Please Review! It means the workd to me! Xox**

**I didn't put any of Lea's entries in... Oopsies. There was no appropriate place to stick it soooooo next chapter I'll put 4 in! Tah dah! Lol**

**Love JoJo x**


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